Making the ceremony more than just a ceremony

The most important part of a wedding is the actual ceremony, because that is what turns two people into one couple, at least in the eyes of the law and God. Jordan and I have already made a commitment to one another, but the wedding ceremony is going to be one step further into this commitment. So how to make it significant and not just repeated words?

Drawing from many different sources, I have written out our entire wedding ceremony, to be conducted by a non-religious (or at least non-denominational) officiant. Some of it is from poetry, some from actual wedding ceremonies, and some from Celtic traditions (though I'd never admit that last part to his grandmother :P). I will borrow Chaucer's words for the exchanging of the rings. I have also created a promise in my own words that I will read aloud to Jordan before we are pronounced husband and wife. He will also write his own vows.

Here are some of my favorite words that will somehow be incorporated into our wedding ceremony:

Bill Swetmon says that a good marriage must be created, and here is how:

"It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day. It is at no time taking the other for granted. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing life. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which independence is equal, dependence is mutual, and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner."

And this is a blessing from a traditional Celtic marriage ritual:

"May you be blessed with communication, intellectual growth, and wisdom.

May you be blessed with harmony, vitality, creativity, and passion.

May you be blessed with friendship, intuition, caring, understanding, and love.

May you be blessed with tenderness, happiness, compassion, and sensuality.

Love has its seasons, the same as does the Earth.

In the spring of love is the discovery of each other, the pulse of the senses, the getting to know the mind and heart of the other; a blooming like the buds and flowers of springtime.

In the summer of love comes the strength, the commitment to each other, the most active part of life, perhaps including the giving of life back to itself through children; the sharing of joys and sorrows, the learning to be humans who are each complete and whole but who can merge each with the other, as the trees grow green and tall in the heat of the sun.

In the fall of love is the contentment of love that knows the other completely. Passion remains, and ease of companionship. The heart smoothes love into a steady light, glorious as the autumn leaves.

In the winter of love, there is parting, and sorrow. But love remains, as do the stark and bare tree trunks in the snow, ready for the renewal of love in the spring as life and love begin anew.

Now is the time of summer. Jordan and Samantha have gathered before their friends and family to make a statement of their commitment to each other, to their love."

I think that crafting our own ceremony and vows will make it that much more meaningful and special for both of us. I like to think of the ceremony as being poetry in action.